One Thing

Well it’s a new year so you know what that means. It means I’ve been thinking lately about my life - what’s working in it and what’s not. What brings me peace and contentment? What sucks the joy out of my day? Can I get rid of those things and spend more time doing the things that bring me contentment? And if so, if I can get rid of the things that stink, what exactly are those things? And if I can’t get rid of them then how do I live with the things that suck joy out of my day and life?

When I use the terms “contentment”, “joy” and “happiness” please know to what I’m referring. I think we have a somewhat skewed vision of contentment, happiness and joy today. I think maybe we watched too many Disney Princess movies where everyone lives happily ever after in a castle with zero problems and grapes that appear on silver trays. Too many fairy godmothers. I’m afraid we expect bliss, which, defined is “euphoria”. And just like the euphoria you get from a roller coaster or (I’ve heard) parachuting out of an airplane, euphoria can’t last. I don’t think we were meant to exist in either euphoria or wretchedness (the antonym to euphoria). Those emotions are simply not sustainable long term. I believe true, lifelong joy is better defined as contentment. Contentment is “a state of satisfaction; ease of mind” and a synonym for pleasure, peace, gladness and serenity. 

We all have things that are going well in life just as we all have things that suck joy out of our days (and some of those things may be so monumental/permanent that they may suck the joy out of large portions of our lives). So how can we live with this push and pull of good things and stinky ones? Is there anything even to do? Or do we just, as Winston Churchill would say, “Keep calm and carry on”?

I’ve been asking myself lately, “is there ONE THING I can get rid of that sucks joy out of me?” Is there one thing I can change to improve my day? I may not be able to get rid of everything that gives me a headache or heartache but more than likely there’s one thing I can shed to improve my day. So what could it be? For me? For you? One thing.  

Is it spending more time in God’s word each day? Beginning your day with journaling? Being intentional about your moments throughout the day? Stopping the social media merry-go-round (you know, where you hop on your device for just one minute when you have a second and then look up twenty minutes later remembering you have water boiling/running/overflowing)? Reaching out to that one person in your life with whom you seek reconciliation and peace? Walking away permanently from that one person in your life with whom there won’t be reconciliation or peace?

What is in your life that needs to change or go? 

I made a few lists at the start of this new year. A GOING WELL LIST and a THINGS THAT ARE NO FUN list. Here are a few items on each list:

THINGS THAT ARE GOING WELL:

God’s presence in my life that brings contentment, peace and encouragement among many many other things

My family  

The health of my parents, my husband and my son

THINGS THAT ARE NO FUN:

My lack of self control of both what goes in and comes out of my mouth

Sleeplessness

A difficult relationship 

There’s more to my lists for sure but those items aren’t for public consumption. The point is that we all have difficulties that can cause us extreme angst AND blessings that bring us great joy. How can we spend more time, energy and focus on the things that are going well and less time, energy and focus on the things that suck joy out of us?

For me personally, I start everyday in God’s word. This year I’m reading through the Gospels (first four books in the New Testament) each month plus a chapter in Proverbs every day (there are 31 chapters and they’re not that long plus they have really good wisdom in there). After my reading I try to journal. I’ve written about my process in previous blogs but if you’re new, this is my usual entry: a Bible verse for the day, things I’m asking God to teach me, three things I’m thankful for that particular day and a short prayer. Then I make my to-do list and get started on the day. This routine starts my day, heart and mind peacefully and purposefully. It doesn’t mean my day ends up like that of course, but it does hold me somewhat accountable. 

I may not get enough sleep and I usually eat too much sugar (especially if I’m tired that day). I may even have a run-in with that difficult relationship. And those things may suck for sure! But I can also think back to my journal and my GOING WELL LIST. And honestly having that list and intentionally thinking about it - dwelling on it - does help me have more peace and it does help me stop a downward emotional crisis before it gets too bad. 

So what is the one thing you can get rid of or change for your day? I’d love to know where and how you’re finding success. 

My one thing for today is to walk away from sugar. I already know it’s going to be a battle for today - I’ve been awake since 2:00 so I’ll be exhausted and a sugar hit gives me a momentary energy boost. But that’s one thing that I need to walk away from. Because when I eat sugar I eat more sugar. Then I don’t sleep well. Then I’m tired. Then I eat sugar then next day because I’m tired. It’s a vicious cycle for me and I’m tired of the fight, honestly. It truly is one thing that sucks the joy out of my overall life so I’m writing it here to hold myself accountable and I hope you’ll help me. 

I can’t wait to hear about your success in getting rid of one thing that holds you back from living your best life! Make your lists. Take time for yourself. Grab hold of things that bring you joy and let go of the things you can. Life is hard. Don’t make it harder than it has to be. Be kind. To everyone AND yourself. 

Aliceson