Embrace The Suck

If you could do anything you wanted what would you do? 

If you could invent, create, improve something what would you choose? If you could do what you are dreaming of and no one would tell you that it wasn’t good enough or you weren’t talented enough or it didn’t sound good or look beautiful or taste delicious what would you choose?

I’ve been thinking about this lately. About things I would like to create. Dishes I‘d like to try. Bread to bake. Soufflés to rise. Paintings to paint. So why don’t I? 

People say to my husband that they’d love to play an instrument but they don’t have time or that they took lessons but let them drop because they weren’t “good enough”. I certainly understand that - I’m a terrible musician and even worse singer! When I get a free afternoon and sit down to do some water coloring I’m so critical of my work! I generally throw it away. But why? 

Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we criticize everything - art and music and food and drink and even our own bodies? As if it’s all just a big improvement project. 

Does it have to be? Does everything have to be improved upon? Do we have to make a project out of everything?? For instance, I hear my friends say a lot (and in fairness I say it probably more than anyone else I know) - “When I drop these last 5 pounds” or “I’ve GOT to be able to run those 4 miles!” As if our bodies are just projects to be improved upon and not a miraculous gift from God! A lot of my friends’ bodies have grown humans, birthed them and fed them! And we’re still complaining about a few pounds. Or a few wrinkles (can I get an amen??). We just think (and say) - “if only I was thinner, smoother, taller, yada, yada, yada”. 

Can we just embrace the miracle of existing? The delicious blessing of living? 

And it’s not just our bodies - like I said before. It’s anything we want to create. Food. Drink. Art. Music. Poetry. Literature. We dream it. We create it. And if the chocolate mousse doesn’t receive a Michelin star we dump it in the trash. If the book doesn’t get published by a major publishing house we immediately condemn it as a complete failure. If we don’t win that Grammy. . . . 

But why? 

Can we get to a place where we embrace being a beginner? Learning? Growing? Challenging ourselves to improve just because we want to learn a new skill. Because we want to create something beautiful just for the sake of beauty and enjoyment. And maybe the enjoyment is mostly in the moment of creating. Maybe no one will see that piece of poetry or the water color or hear the song. Maybe it’s just for you. 

If we could embrace beginning. Embrace learning. Embrace a growth mindset. Get beyond the thought that everything has to earn a dollar. That everything has to be successful or profitable to have value. Because I really think some things are valuable just because they exist in our world. Sometimes existence is the value.

So embrace the suck! Create! Dream! Draw! Get the guitar out. Get out the paint set and brushes. Dream your dreams and just start. Not everything in your world has to have a dollar sign next to it or have commercial value. Sometimes it’s enough just to create the piece and enjoy for yourself. Just enjoy beginning something - anything. 

And will it lead somewhere worthwhile? Will it turn into something successful? 

I really think that depends on your definition of “success”. If you hold that term loosely and you’re open to variations on the definition then I think, yes, your creation will always be successful. Success doesn’t just mean financial windfalls. Success can be found in a lot of places. Think about your kids and the fridge - they were SO HAPPY to see their artwork on your refrigerator, weren’t they? That was the ULTIMATE success story to them. Success can just be HAPPINESS. JOY. SATISFACTION.

So please, this year, embrace the suck. Embrace beginning. 

Aliceson